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Sunday, February 04, 2007

Cool Meanings

Cigarette:

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at

the other.

Love affairs:

Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular

than a five-day test.

Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman

gains her master

Divorce:

Future tense of marriage

Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to

the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he

got the biggest piece.

Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by

feminine waterpower.. .

Dictionary:

A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees

later on.

Ecstasy:

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never

felt before.

Classic:

A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that

nothing can be done together.

Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat:

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually

look forward to the trip.

Opportunist:

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist:

A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am

not injured yet.

Pessimist:

A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the

first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

Miser:

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father:

A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:

A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Positive Sides

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it

For poise, walk with the knowledge that and you should never walk alone
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